That Which Wasn't Said

Tonight I found myself at the University bookstore, where I eventually came across a few cheap pairs of headphones.  By cheap I mean really cheap; I knew they weren’t going to be very good just looking at them, but before I knew it impulse overcame me and I thought I’d try them out.  They were extremely inexpensive and I’ve been looking for a pair of headphones I wouldn’t mind using when I’m out and about (I mean, my ‘good’ headphones aren’t even that great, but I still feel like I shouldn’t take them out / throw them in my backpack when I’m not using them as often as I do), so I bought a pair.

On the plus side, they look nice — the (obviously cheap) plastic is clear, revealing all the (equally cheap) electronics underneath.  Sadly that’s really the only good thing I can say about them.  They sound absolutely terrible.  You’d be so disappoint, Corey. :/

Anyway, never buy headphones from your university bookstore.  Ever.

Tune in!  It may just be the best decision you will have ever made!

————> wmeb.fm <————-

thisburrito:

Looking at posts of Ron Paul fans on You Tube and it’s so overwhelming how many of them are anti-semetic. It’s really shocking. It’s not just a handful of people it’s a majority of the comments I see, and that is certainly not okay. At all.

I feel a bit like an idiot writing this out, like a teenager just starting to learn how to play guitar and telling his friend “dude, we should totally start a band!” or a drunk guy telling his buddy “dude, we should buy a bar!”… you know, it feels like one of those things that you’re destined to let slip away, no matter how true your intentions are.  Regardless, I feel compelled to write this down so I don’t forget it. 

Tonight my brother and I finished the first (and, unfortunately, only) season of Stella (remember that show I talked about a couple of months ago, the one I said I couldn’t stand?)… and I have to admit, it was probably the best comedy show I’ve seen since I got into Arrested Development a couple of years ago.  It was absurd and obnoxious and nonsensical but despite all of that it was absolutely hysterical.  Beyond that, I would even say there was something about it that just… spoke to me.  It wasn’t the jokes, or really anything in particular about the show’s sense of humor.  It just left me with a new perspective on the world, for reasons I really don’t understand.  It feels incredible, though.

Inspired by the show, I started looking up Youtube videos of Michael Ian Black, Michael Showalter, and David Wain (who I already consider to be among the best comedians I’ve ever seen).  This certainly wasn’t the first time I’ve noticed this, but what struck me (and what always strikes me) was just how family-like all these comedians seem to be.  The three in Stella alone could easily be just as close as they appear to be on the show, and that was only the beginning of it.  I soon found myself stumbling onto other videos including some with David Cross (<3 <3 <3) and Bob Odenkirk and tons of other favorites of mine… all of these people somehow seem to be close friends, which amazes me considering the vast span of productions they each come from.  I don’t know why I find that as fascinating as I do, but it always puts a smile on my face, and for whatever reason it’s something I find very inspiring.

I know I probably sound stupidly easily-influenced here, but this leads me to my main point, being that I had an epiphany this evening: I want to be a comedian someday.  I don’t want to drop out of school or stop studying physics, and I certainly don’t have anything close to a mindset like “OMG I WANNA MAKE IT BIG IN HOLLYWOOD SOMEDAY!!!1!1” - it’s really nothing like that at all.  But I realized something tonight that I had sort of started to lose touch with for some time, that being that I really, really enjoy making people laugh.  Anyone who knows me knows that it’s almost always in a very dry and subtle way (I’m still quite introverted and I’ve never been one to try to force humor in an unnatural way), but I really do find a lot of pleasure in making people laugh, even if just a little bit.  It’s something I guess I’ve always kind of taken for granted, but as I think about it now I realize just how big a role it’s played in my life over the past few years (there’s a long story I could tell here but the short version is that I somehow mustered up enough courage (I know that sounds selfish but it was a huge deal for me back then) to try performing in an improv comedy group when I was a junior in high school, and even though it was a relatively short-lived endeavor I still believe that it was probably the most important decision I’ve ever made in my life, as far as my development as a person goes).

While this epiphany is still fresh on my mind, I thought I should write it down because for the first time in months it seems, I feel really passionate about something.  I’ve realized that this is more than just a habit, but rather something I really enjoy doing, and something I could really do something with if I tried.  Again, my goal is not to be on TV or in movies, by any means.  But I want to start trying to do more with my sense of humor in general.  For now this might just mean being more analytic of the world around me, regarding what humor there is to be found naturally in my daily life (I say this thinking of my friend Pat, who - inspired by Seinfeld - told me he and a friend of ours have been keeping a casual list this year of common things they find humorous… things that a lot of people notice but don’t know they notice, much like a lot of the mundane social conventions illustrated in a humorous light on Seinfeld itself; I don’t know why exactly they’re doing this but I think it’s a really cool idea).  Eventually, however, I’d like to try using this to challenge myself to try new things… to start, I want to challenge myself to perform stand-up comedy at least once before this next semester is over.  I couldn’t tell you why, but the idea of doing stand-up is one of those things that I have always found to be simultaneously deeply fascinating and incredibly terrifying; despite this, I want to push myself as a person to overcome such barriers, and see where it goes from there.  Like I said, I’m writing this goal down so I don’t forget it… but also so you won’t let me give you any excuse for not going for it, Nick, haha.

My last thought on this is actually a memory I have from a few years ago, which I think of a lot more often than what may have been originally intended.  In the summer of 2009, right before I started my senior year of high school, my family moved to Wisconsin.  Of course I wasn’t happy about it at the time (I’ve said many times since that it turned out to be a very important experience in my life that I value greatly, but still), but it was something we just had to do.  I was totally bummed, as were my friends.  But I distinctly recall one time soon before we left, when my friend Nick (it’s awkward trying to word this knowing you’re reading it, haha) made me promise that I would branch out and try new things when I was out there; that I wouldn’t be afraid to talk to people, and that I would just make the most of my time there.  These words inspired me greatly then (and I am 100% certain that they are responsible for the amazing year I ended up having there), and they’ve continued to inspire me as a person ever since.  Whenever I’m hesitant or afraid of whatever I’m facing in my life, I remember that promise I made and it helps me through more than I could have ever imagined, which is something I am infinitely grateful for (I love you so much, Nick).  So it’s no surprise that I thought of this tonight, just as soon as I had this epiphany; together they’ve inspired me to really start doing something with my life, and I will happily admit that it is almost certainly the most exciting feeling I’ve had all year.

In the meantime, there just so happens to be a Curtain Raisers show tomorrow night (this is the same group I used to be in), which I’m really looking forward to.  Even though I’ll just be an audience member this time, it’ll be great to see people and hopefully just as great to re-live this thing that used to be one of my greatest joys in life.  After that, I guess we’ll just have to see what happens.

Contrary to what you may believe I am not dead, but in fact alive and doing very well!  I’ve just been busy enjoying my holiday break over the past few weeks; soon after going on vacation I realized I hadn’t checked tumblr in a while, and with that realization decided to challenge myself to not (seriously) go on tumblr until I’m back at school (I’ll be heading back up on Sunday).  I’ll return soon, with tons of tales to tell, plenty of pictures to post, and much music to mention… but in the meantime I hope you’re all doing well!

I had a dream last night about this girl I met when I lived in Wisconsin.  Her name was Lydia.  She was extremely beautiful and very nice, though there were times when I found her personality to be rather frightening.  I don’t know if I could put that into words.  She was just a very interesting person, to say the least.  Despite this, I liked her quite a lot.

Anyway, in the dream I went back to Wisconsin and really wanted to find her while I was there, just to see her again and tell her how sorry I was for leaving and not talking with her in well over a year and about how I felt about her in general.  I eventually found her, but when I did she didn’t want to see me or even talk to me and ended up just angrily walking away.  It was one of the most heartbreaking dreams I can remember; I was devastated.

I wasn’t upset by it when I woke up or anything, but little bits of thoughts like this (both dreams and real memories) about my past in Wisconsin tend to come back to me every now and then.  They occur often enough that little by little I’ve managed to piece together most of my time there in memories, though seldom enough that each one means a lot to me; I tend to dwell on these things for days at a time, just soaking in the nostalgia piece by piece.  In a lot of ways, there are few things I find more pleasure in doing than re-living that year.  Again, I really can’t explain it.

Someday in the future when I’m not this tired/half-conscious (I literally just woke myself up to write this down here before I forgot it) I’ll put more of my stories into words.  Like I said, I really love trying to do that.  Maybe I’ll even write a little book about it someday.

Until then, I hope Lydia’s doing alright, wherever she may be these days.